


Greet the day

by winstonlives



Series: II tour fics [17]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Best Friends, Established Relationship, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, Good Boyfriend Phil Lester, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Tour Fic, Yoga, mentions of doctors and meds, self-care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 14:13:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15865233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winstonlives/pseuds/winstonlives
Summary: Dan is having a bit of a rough time for a few days. Phil tries to help him navigate his mental health issues as best he can. He's ever supportive and he and Dan work through while on tour where Dan isn't feeling the best. They both know it will probably always be this way, but they also know they can work together to make it better no matter what.





	Greet the day

**Author's Note:**

> I started this fic forever ago and found it again. I don't know what prompted me to write it, whether it was something my own life or something that the boys had said. Either way, I decided to post it. I think this one has the least amount of humor than anything I have written. It's fairly serious actually but has a happy ending.

“You feeling okay?” 

Dan nodded, not looking over at Phil. 

“You sure?” 

Dan nodded again and took a drink of his coffee. 

“Tired?” Phil asked, his eyes scanning Dan who grunted a little. “Want me to leave you alone?’ 

Dan finally looked at him and shrugged.

“Is it a bad-brain day?” 

Dan shrugged again. 

“Okay,” Phil nodded and leaned over to kiss his temple. “I’ll stop.” 

Dan sighed heavily and closed his eyes. 

“We don’t have to do anything today. We can’t put up any insta stories or anything anyway.” 

“Fine.” Dan sighed and closed his eyes. Phil stayed in bed with him for a while, but got up and got dressed. As he was pulling on his jacket, Dan opened one eye. “Where you going?” 

“Just out, thought I’d let you have some time to yourself for a bit.” 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want,” Dan sat up, blinking slowly. 

“It’s fine,” Phil said sitting next to him and kissing his cheek, his hand coming up to cup the other. “I know you like to be alone for at least a little while on days like this. I’ll let you have a few hours to just be.” He smiled, to reassure Dan that it was fine. 

“You sure?” 

“Yes,” Phil said kissing him lightly on the lips. “I already made plans, so you just have this time to just be here okay.” He put their foreheads together. “Just be.” 

Dan closed his eyes, “Thanks.” 

Phil kissed him quickly then stood up. “I’ll text you when I am on my way back, shouldn’t be until later.”

Dan nodded and lay back against the pillows. 

“Love you,” Phil said, before closing the door behind him. 

Dan lay back and looked up at the ceiling. He listened to the traffic outside, a door closing down the hall, someone walking in the room above him, and a vacuum somewhere in the distance. He dozed off eventually but woke to his phone vibrating on the table. 

Phil had sent him a photo of a coffee, it had a heart drawn in the foam on the top. He would have normally chuckled, or rolled his eyes at how sappy the gesture was. He knew his lack of reaction was not due to being tired, and the fatigue wasn’t due to the tour. He closed his eyes and sighed, but willed himself to get up. He walked to the bathroom, peed, and brushed his teeth. A year or two ago he would’ve taken a shower and climbed back into bed. Actually no, he wouldn’t have even taken a shower, no need when all he’d have had the energy for was to wallow in bed. 

He still didn’t have the energy to do anything but wallow, but he knew how to help himself now. He knew nothing got better if he just laid in bed, even though that was all he wanted to do. Instead, he took a towel from the bathroom and spread it out on the rug in the middle of the hotel room. Finding his preferred playlist, he set his phone down and got into position. He regulated his breathing, and began a yoga routine he did almost every day when they were home. It helped. At least it felt like it did. Some days were like today, and the hardest part was just getting out of bed to breathe, let alone do any of the moves, but he forced himself to start, and by the time he reached the fourth or fifth position he could already feel a difference. 

He knew the yoga would help, but he also decided to call his therapist just to check in and tell her about how the tour was going. They had discussed before he left if he should maybe take meds with him just in case, but they both decided he would check in periodically and keep up his routines that helped him. They both knew he may have a day or two like this, with the stress and the little downtime they gave themselves. He wasn’t worried, nor was she. He felt so much more in control than he ever did, so he was confident it would be fine. 

Once he was done with his yoga, and talking to her for about a half hour, he checked the time. It was still fairly early and maybe Phil wouldn't have gotten lunch yet. He texted him. 

Dan: You get lunch yet?

Phil: Was about to, you want me to pick something up?

Dan: Where are you? I’ll meet you.

His phone rang at that. “You feeling better?” 

“A little bit yeah. I think I should get out, get some sun you know.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Phil said, Dan could hear the smile in his voice. “I’m pretty close to the hotel, I’ll just come get you since I have no idea how I would tell you where I am.” 

“Okay, I’m just going to hop in the shower.” 

“Sounds good. I’ll be there in about ten minutes, I’ll look for somewhere to eat.” 

______

“You glad you came out today?” Phil asked as he pulled off his jeans as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Running into people wasn’t too bad was it?”

“No, it was okay,” Dan said, pulling his jeans off and tossing them over the back of a chair. 

“I’m starving.” Phil said, “I hope room service doesn’t take too long.” 

“Mhmm.” Dan hummed, he lay down on top of the duvet. 

“You barely ate any lunch, you must be dying,” Phil said, turning on the tv, Dan grunted behind him. Phil turned to look at him, he shut off the tv. “You want me to be quiet?” 

“Doesn’t matter.” 

“You okay?” 

Dan shrugged, “I was,” 

Phil moved, pulling Dan against him. He kissed the top of his head, “I’ll be quiet if you promise to eat something.”

“Okay.” Dan sighed. 

“Then after we eat. You can go to sleep okay?” Phil said, combing his fingers through Dan’s hair. Dan nodded against his chest. “Tomorrow’ll be better, I know it.” 

A short time passed and the room service cart arrived, Phil answered the door quickly. They ate, in silence, Phil watching Dan but trying not to. “Please stop.” 

“What?” Phil said, knowing full well what Dan wanted him to stop doing. “Sorry, I can’t help it sometimes.” He reached over and put his hand over Dan’s for a moment.

Dan mostly pushed his food around his plate, eventually pushing it away after eating barely half of it. He lay back against the pillows and closed his eyes. 

Phil watched him at first, but then dropped his eyes to his plate and finished eating as quickly as possible. He finished and pushed the room service cart into the hall before. “I’m just going to brush my teeth then I’ll be done.” He said quietly. 

“Phil, you don’t have to…” 

Phil closed the bathroom door before Dan could finish talking. A few minutes later Phil walked back into the room and turned out the lights. Dan could hear the shushing sound of his clothes coming off before he felt the bed dip on the other side as Phil climbed in. 

“Phil, it’s only eight o’clock.” Dan sighed. 

“I know, thought it would be good to get to bed early.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, you aren’t six years old.”

“It’s fine, good even. Just think of how rested we’ll be tomorrow.” Phil fake yawned. 

“Phil.” 

“Dan, please be quiet, I am trying to sleep.” 

Dan actually smiled a real smile, and moved closer to Phil, in order to lay his head on his chest. “Night Phil.” 

“Night Dan,” Phil said bringing his hand up to rub over Dan’s back lightly. “Love you, and hope you have a better day tomorrow.” 

“Love you too.” Dan sighed, “I hope so.” 

_________

“I’m amazed I fell asleep so early last night,” Phil said, climbing out of the shower. 

“Guess you were tired.” 

“Apparently.” Phil scrubbed the towel through his hair in the mirror. His smile dropped when he noticed Dan’s expression in the mirror. 

“Still not better, are you?”  
“Better than I was.” Dan sighed and set his toothbrush down. “It’ll be fine.” He gave a half-hearted smile. 

Phil pulled him into a hug, tucking his head into his neck. “Sorry I didn’t notice until now.” 

“Phil, I’m fine. Just feel a little drained, little foggy, you know. It’ll be better after we get out of this room and outside.”

“Should I let management know?” 

“Call them up and say what? He’s going off the deep end again?” 

“You are not going off the deep end,” Phil said, looking horrified. “You never went off the deep end. Don’t say things like that.”

Dan chuckled, “I know. Sorry, that wasn’t funny.” Dan said, noting the flash of hurt and anger cross Phil’s face. 

“It isn’t fucking funny,” Phil said, his voice icy. “Your health is not something I can handle you making light of right now.” 

“You know that’s just my sense of humor,” Dan said, pulling Phil back into a hug. “I’m sorry, I won't joke about it.” 

“Good.” Phil sighed and kept his arms wrapped around Dan’s waist. “What can I do to help?” 

“Just be you, be here.” Dan smiled and pulled back enough so Phil could see his face. “I promise I’m getting better. You treating me like normal will help.” 

“You sure?” Phil said, bringing one hand up to push Dan’s hair back from his face. Dan nodded. “I’ll try to, but promise you’ll tell me if you need something or you get worse. I don’t want you to be alone.” 

“I’m never alone.” Dan smiled and leaned forward to kiss Phil lightly on the lips. “I know you’re here if I need you.” 

_____

They got ready to go and once out and about they encountered more people, both of them trying to act normal. For the most part, they did, and Dan even felt somewhat cheerful for some of it. Phil watched him cautiously for signs of anything too concerning. When they were meeting people stress occasionally crept into his expression for a second or two, his eyes trained on Dan the entire time. 

By the end of the day, after meet and greets, organized and unorganized, and after the show, Phil could see Dan was drained again. He was glad to see that management had done their part and a car was already waiting to bring them back to the hotel, so they didn’t even have to wait one minute in the dank basement dressing room they were assigned. 

On the ride to the hotel all he wanted to do was pull Dan to him and hold him until he fell asleep, but considering where they were, he resisted, waiting instead until they were in private. He did discreetly cover Dan’s hand with his on the seat. Dan watched out the window, not even acknowledging the small gesture, Phil wondered if he even noticed. 

Phil’s heart lept when they finally arrived. He walked around to the other side of the car, and opened Dan’s door, then waited for him to step out. Dan walked past him with a blank look on his face, dark circles had formed under his eyes, and he looked paler than normal. Phil thanked the driver and followed Dan into the building. 

Phil unlocked the room and let Dan pass the threshold first. As soon as they were both in the room Dan flopped on the bed, and Phil locked the door. He pulled Dan’s shoes off then took off his own, before climbing in the bed and pulling Dan to him. He didn’t say anything, nor did Dan as they lay there in silence for what felt like hours, but was in fact only about a half hour. Dan pulled away and walked into the bathroom. Phil heard him pee then run the water before returning to the bed. 

“You can eat dinner,” Dan said, as he climbed back into the bed. 

“We are going to eat dinner.” 

“Not hungry.” 

“I know you’re not, but you need to eat. You haven’t eaten much in the last couple days. You’re starting to worry me.” 

“I’m just in a fog.” Dan said, laying back and closing his eyes.”I’ll get better soon.” 

Phil watched him. Watching his chest rise and fall as he breathed. Yeah, he was worried, even though they had lived through many days like this in the past, it was still hard to watch it happen. “I’m going to order some dinner, and you have to eat some of it at least.” He said, picking up the room service menu. 

“I know.” Dan sighed, his eyes still closed. “I’m sorry.” 

“Why are you sorry?” Phil asked, reaching for the room phone, he ordered quickly then hung up. “You aren’t doing anything wrong.” 

“I’m sorry I’m making you worry, and I’m sorry I’m mucking up the meet and greets. I’m sorry my brain is so fucked up,” Dan said, starting to cry. 

Phil pulled him into his chest, even though he knew Dan normally didn’t like to be touched when he was crying, he needed to touch him “You are not mucking anything up.” he said pressing his lips to Dan’s temple. “I am worried though. I just want you to be okay. We could cancel the tour tomorrow, lose our shirts and I’d gladly work as a barista at the local coffee shop to pay the bills if it would mean you were better. Don’t worry about me or anything else besides yourself. Your brain is beautiful, it’s just parts of it sometimes treat you badly. Should I call up the doctor and have some pills sent in? I know they won’t work right away, but, eventually they will.” He smoothed his hand down Dan’s back, over and over again. The movement and the sound it made relaxed Dan a little. 

“I don’t know. You know they make me feel kind of sick and out of it for a while until I get used to them. Besides, by the time they would start to work, I’d probably be fine again.” 

“You know that isn’t how it works.” Phil sighed. “I know you don’t want to take pills again, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea to not take them.” 

“I just feel like... “ Dan took a deep shuddery breath, trying hard not to cry again. “I just feel like I failed.” 

“You didn’t fail.” 

“I know I didn’t. Logically, I know it’s not something I have control over, it has nothing to do with me, just some chemicals in my brain are going haywire. But it still makes me feel like I’m broken, and I hate it.” 

“You’re not broken,” Phil said, squeezing him a little tighter. “Did you do your exercises today? Your breathing?” 

Dan shook his head, “I thought all the other stuff would be enough.” 

“Okay then. Get up.” Phil said pushing Dan off him. “Dinner will be here in about 15 minutes. Yoga now, dinner, then I’ll draw a nice bath for you.” Dan grumbled not really wanting to move from the bed and the residual warmth Phil left behind. “Come on. You know it’ll help. I know you’re tired. I know you don’t want to do anything but lay there. But you need to take care of yourself. You won’t get better otherwise.” Phil said, walking into the bathroom and returned laying two bath towels on the ground. 

“Why two towels?” Dan asked, scooting to the edge of the bed. 

“I’m going to do it with you.” 

“Dangerous,” Dan said as he stepped off the bed, and stood at the end of one of the makeshift yoga mats. 

“It’s my middle name. Philip Danger Lester. Ready?” Phil turned on some music and they went through sun salutation three times before a soft knock came from the door. “I’ll get it. Dinner.” Phil said standing up from his last position. “You finish and I’ll set it up.” 

After dinner, of which Dan barely ate, Phil went and filled the tub with warm water and added some bubbles. “Phil you really didn’t have to do this you know,” Dan said, walking in to see the mound of iridescent bubbles. 

“I wanted to.” Phil shrugged, walked over and slowly peeled Dan’s shirt over his head. He kissed his cheek then walked into the bedroom, leaving Dan to his bath.

Phil was reading when Dan came back out wearing a towel around his hips, his hair sticking up all directions. “Thanks.” He said sitting next to Phil, leaning in a little. “I feel a little more human.” 

“Good,” Phil said, setting his book aside, and wrapping his arms around him. “Let’s watch something and go to sleep. Tomorrow will be better, I can tell.”

“I hope so.” Dan sighed and pulled his damp towel off before climbing into bed. Phil opened his arms to him, and he snuggled in, his cheek pressed to Phil’s chest. “It’s better already,” he sighed, ruffling the sparse hair in the middle of Phil’s chest. 

They chose a movie for background noise and Phil ran his hand lightly up and down Dan’s back, as he periodically pressed kisses to the top of his head until he fell asleep. Phil stayed awake a little longer, but when the movie ended he turned off the TV and rolled them, to spoon up behind Dan. Wrapping his body around Dan’s protectively, he pressed a kiss to his shoulder before he fell asleep too. 

_____

Dan woke up cocooned in blankets, sheets, and Phil. He was so hot and slippery from sweat between them. “Ugh! Phil! Lemme go. We’re all sweaty.” 

“Hmm-what?” Phil asked, blinking awake but still not letting go. 

“Let go, you have me in a stranglehold and we’re all sweaty now.” Dan wrinkled his nose as he unlatched himself from Phil’s arms and legs. 

Phil chuckled as he threw back the blankets, “Sorry. Guess my comfort-snuggle turned into a one sided cuddle fest.” 

Dan smirked in spite of himself as he climbed out of bed and walked into the bathroom to pee. He came back out a few minutes later gave Phil a mischievous look as he began doing his normal morning yoga routine; nude. “You going to join me, Philly?” 

“Think I’ll watch,” Phil said, his voice a little lower than normal. “Feel better today?” 

“Yeah, the fog is a thinner today,” Dan said, moving smoothly into downward dog. “Thanks for just being here.” 

“I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.” Phil said, “Especially right now.” 

Dan chuckled, rose up into mountain pose then looked over his shoulder. He moved into upward salute then smoothly to standing forward bend. He smirked into his knees at the thought of what Phil was seeing. He heard a grunt behind him and knew that after he was done with yoga, there would be a different kind of exercise to look forward to.

**Author's Note:**

> This whole thing is not a "YOGA CURES DEPRESSION" statement. I think Dan knows whats good for himself irl and he has a great support system, in family, Phil, and friends. I just wanted to write something that showed a little of both sides of what it is like dealing with these themes. I've been on both sides of the spectrum, the ill, and the support. Neither is fun, but both are very real and difficult to deal with. Hopefully, this doesn't step on toes or upset anyone. Everyone's mental health is their own and everyone handles it differently. 
> 
> Take care of yourself and those you love. Self-care is important, don't let life get in the way of taking care of the most important person; yourself.
> 
> Thanks for reading guys, if you liked it let me know. If you hated it, be respectful when telling me why you did hate it. NGL this is probably the most anxious I have ever been uploading a fic.


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